Odds and Ends

Fresh Air

2009-10-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

Several years ago Denny and I took a drive up the coast. I believe it was our first vacation together. For one week we were adventurers without a sure plan. We loaded the car with our camping gear, music, a deck of cards, the guitar, and our favorite snacks. We set out early one morning, coffee in hand. Denny drove this easy leg of the trip. We talked and laughed and loved. Every 50 miles or so he would squeeze my hand.

Our first stop was in Solvang. Our friends here are always so kind to us. They welcomed us, fed us, spoiled us. Denny played his guitar and sang. The kids were dancing. It was the perfect beginning of our trip.

With a tank full of gas, we continued north to new territory. Well, it was new to me. Denny had been here before and was eager for me to see it. We stopped in San Luis Obispo for lunch and a quick tour. We took our time wandering through the little town. I'm sure we had a coffee too. That's just what we do.

Our next destination was San Francisco. We opted to take the coast because don't you have to do that at least once even if it is the long way? I saw coastline that I never knew existed. I drove the winding road while Denny rested his eyes. I had to keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on the road. The great Pacific was a clear blue green color that was shocking and awesome all at once. Trees met sand and the waves crashed against giant cliffs. The sun was shining between clouds and it looked like there were huge spotlights way out at sea. Maybe that's just what they were. Something bigger than us was proudly displaying magnificence. I was so lucky to see it. How many people will never see that?

We finally made it to San Francisco. The sun was setting as we navigated over bridges and highways into the city. We dropped our stuff off at our boutique hotel and headed for food. It felt big and tall this city I'd never seen. The wind blew and it was cold. We walked close for warmth. We packed as much as we could into the next couple of days. We made stops at Golden Gate Park, the pier, John Muir Woods, and many other spots that we captured in pictures. We enjoyed good food along our way.

The next stop was Yosemite. Denny was always telling me stories about Yosemite and how it left an impression on him. We were happy to finally experience it together. I had no idea what to expect. I was just thrilled at the thought of camping under the stars with my favorite person. We drove in and I stared out the window in awe. We were surrounded by pine trees and huge boulders and rock formations and endless beauty. The sky was the bluest of blues and the air was fresh. We spotted Half Dome and Bridal Falls. Stepping out of the car I felt revived. We took a walk that evening and saw deer and bears. We cooked our dinner on our little stove and toasted each other. Denny built a fire and we enjoyed marshmallows and a game of Yahtzee. As we drifted to sleep we could hear our fire popping but not much else. That night there was a mama bear and cubs about 25 feet from our tent. I'm not sure I'd like to relive that but it sure made the experience all the more memorable.

The following morning was cold. We made coffee and bacon. Coffee always tastes better when you camp. Come to think of it, so does bacon. It warmed us up and prepared us for our day. We hiked and napped. Denny played guitar. We took walks and did some reading. We explored. We sat by a creek and listened. We found a place that served ice cold beer. That night we walked to a bridge to check out the stars. They hide from us in our everyday lives but when you make it out to the wilderness to see them, they put on a show like no other. There were millions. The second night was more restful. The bears didn't come back again. We went to sleep that night feeling renewed and possibly forever changed.

This experience still remains vivid in my mind. I long to go back. When people talk about trips to Europe or Mexico or Hawaii I wonder if those places could bring me the same peace that Yosemite brought me. Would I love it as much? I know we'll go back when the time is right but for now I'll keep daydreaming about the fresh air.

Fall Back

2009-09-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

We've been busy. Here's an update in pictures.

First trip to Disneyland on my 28th birthday

Evening walks on the beach

Afternoon smoothie breaks

Playing in the dirt before 8am

Blowing out candles...3 to be exact

Jedi training

The last month has been crazy but awesome. We've celebrated several family birthdays, I had my ten year reunion, and I started a new job. This is all among the daily fun of having a one and three year old. Maybe the fall will bring me the gift of time. Ha ha ha.

Sweet and Sassy

2009-08-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

Ruby had me fooled from the start. The first three months of her life were a dream to any new mother...especially a mother with an almost two year old boy. She was easy to feed and started sleeping 7 hours straight at just two weeks old. She preferred to sleep with us. There we were, three sleeping people all in love with each other. She didn't take to the swaddle the way Ivan did. Maybe that should have been my first clue. I swaddled her for maybe 6 weeks. Ivan was swaddled tight for at least 3 months. I might have shed a tear when he was too big to swaddle.

I knew that Ivan and Ruby would be completely different people. So why does it catch me off guard so often? I think back to the things Ivan said, his clever mind, the way he stayed close to me, and his receptive mind. I am reminded daily at how unique they are. Ruby's miraculous sleeping habits walked right out the front door once she hit 2 months. She still isn't sleeping through the night. She started walking at 10 months. She was ready to take on the world.

Ruby is my pistol. She wants to do what she wants to do at all times. If you must change her diaper while she is in the middle of running around outside all hell will break loose. She found something sharp and dangerous you say? Please take it from her and get ready for one squirming mad little girl. Ruby is my risk taker. She'll climb, try to jump in a lake full of duck poo, and she'll even pop a live snail into her mouth and swish it around. Remove the snail from her mouth and she'll throw herself onto the ground as if it was the tastiest Swiss chocolate she'd ever had. Ruby is tough and resilient. I cannot even count the amount of times that she gets pushed (or "zoomed" as Ivan calls it), hit in the head with a variety of things, falls, and bonks all different parts of her little body. Once in awhile she will cry out in pain but usually she'll just get back up with a surprised look on her face and get back at it.
When we are out, she does not want to ride in the cart or stay in my arms. She wants to run with her head down and her legs moving as fast as they can. Charge!

Lucky for us she has a sweet side. When I pick her up out of her crib she will hug my neck. She squeezes so tight that I don't know where I end and she begins. When Denny comes home, she squeals at him. Her heart is instantly overflowing with joy that the best dad is home. He'll run upstairs and when he comes down, she does it all over again. She is affectionate and will sometimes smother me with 13 kisses until I am covered in Ruby drool. It's enough to make me want to eat her. If Ivan is upset about something, she will pat his back gently. She is not afraid to show love.

I adore my sassafras. It's impossible not to.

Photo by Sarah Lyman. (Thanks for capturing Ruby's silly face!)

The Curse

2009-08-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am cursed. Each time I enter a parking lot the dark cloud looms overhead. Whether or not I am strategic about the spot I choose doesn't change the outcome. I could park with five spaces on every side of me and someone will still decide to park right next to us partly over the line. I get the kids into the cart and get my business done in the store. By the time I walk back to the car, the gods turn against me time and time again. Nine times out of ten, somebody will either be coming or going in the car right next to mine. Without fail. I expect it now. Denny and I look at each other in disbelief. So I wait for them to finish up loading their stuff, get their kids into the car, and slowly leave their spot. I can breathe. I finally have some elbow room to get the kids loaded up only to look up and see that a car is waiting for me to move out of the way. There might be two closer spaces but they want to be right next to ME. My car is like a magnet.

So now we laugh about it but it's not that funny. I wonder if other people are cursed like us?

12:21

2009-07-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ruby was born at 12:21am. While we prepared to meet our girl, the city slept. The freeway outside my window was scarce. The moon was high. That early Wednesday morning was no different for Mother Ocean down the hill, finally calm after a long summer day. It was so dreamlike. Quiet. Calm. Dark. New.

Her birth was entirely different. Panic and anxiety weren't welcome this time. We took deep breaths and reveled in the joy. We smiled at each other, held hands, and sent text messages to the ones we love.

She was ready to come out and let us fall in love with her. She cried. We cried. We looked at every inch of her noticing how much she resembled our firstborn. Her black hair was wild. Her fingers and toes were water logged. Her eyes looked up at me like she already knew me. I guess she kind of did.

The first two hours of her life are ones I will always hold close. The doctor handed her over and let us have her for over two hours before they even weighed her. It was life changing. They wiped her clean and cleared her throat while I held her. She just rested on my chest, squirming, making noises, and rooting. I handed her over to the best dad thanking him for giving me my girl. Their eyes met and I felt a lump in my throat. I finally offered her the little milk that I had and she accepted. She latched on as if she had been expecting it. I stared at her in awe. I smelled the newness on her skin. She was perfect. Flawless. Ours.

The nurses finally asked if they could weigh her and get her cleaned up and dressed. I handed her over already missing her warm body against mine. They measured her, poked her, cleaned her, and dressed her. She barely cried out. It was finally time for all of us to sleep. I couldn't surrender. We slept together in my bed while the sun rose.

And here we are a year later. Sometimes when I'm up with her in the night I check the clock and it's just after midnight. There we are again with the moon shining brightly outside the window as the rest of the world is quiet. I hold her against my chest and listen to her noises. I feel the heaviness as she falls asleep. I'm in love.

When We Were Three

2009-07-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

A year ago today I had an unforgettable day with Ivan. Towards the end of my pregnancy with Ruby, I wanted to enjoy my time with Ivan while it was just him. I knew that soon enough she would demand that I share myself, my heart, my time, my affection. I'd have to turn down his requests to play cars while I nursed her to sleep. All too often I'd ask him to wait just a few minutes while I changed the baby. I'd have to remind him to use a quiet voice while his sister slept in the next room. I'd remind him relentlessly to be gentle, be gentle, BE GENTLE. He'd learn about patience all too soon.

The day started out with a visit to my doctor. The nurse asked him if he was having a brother or a sister. "A sister...Rubes." He would shyly mutter while spinning on the doctor's round stool. The nurse looked at me for clarification. "Ruby. He calls her Rubes," I'd explain. We listened to her quick heartbeat together, Ivan wide eyed at the sound. The doctor told me she expected to see me back in a week. The baby hadn't dropped and I was barely effaced. I left skeptical but knew the time would come soon and I would feel her heartbeat against my naked chest.

Our next stop was our favorite children's garden in Encinitas. It was a perfect summer day on the coast. The sun was warm and the breeze was kind enough to keep us cool. Ivan eagerly ran from one place to another. My belly and I kept up but barely. I caught the wonder on his face as he watched a model train go around and around and around. We sat on the bench eating our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches watching the train. We might have sat there for an hour if I didn't have to use the bathroom again. Before we left he played in the water across from another girl that was older than Ivan. She wasn't happy that he invaded her space so she splashed him and gave him a look. He looked at me, stunned, and maybe even a little confused. Her mom paid no attention while on her cell phone. Like it was meant to be, a hummingbird buzzed above us distracting him enough to forget about the sulky splasher.

We hit every inch of the garden and so it was time for a treat, gelato. Ivan hadn't had it before but I knew that any child of mine would love it. We shared a cup of strawberry, he in my lap. We heard the real train in the distance. He looked up at me with a smile. These are the moments that I can't forget. I don't want to forget. It's the smallest things that make him happy. We walked hand in hand back to the car. He thanked me for the treat.

Ivan and I took the coast on the way home with the windows down. I could see his tired eyes in the mirror. I didn't need to look at the clock to know it was well past his nap. I drove the road I love best while he fell asleep behind me with the salty air blowing in his face. I loved this day and I hope to remember it and remind him of it when he's older. Maybe we could even do it all over again. He will never remember the times that it was just him. When each day was devoted to only him. Our meals were eaten at our table for three. His car seat sat next to an empty seat. Our hearts overflowed with love for him. We will surely remember.

The next morning I woke up and knew the time was near. My water broke. Ivan would no longer be our only child. Our time with him is something I will always treasure. What I did not know was that in less than 24 hours my heart would be filled with even more love than I could describe.

Summertime Hues

2009-07-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have the best memories of summer. I grew up in Arizona where the heat is barely tolerable come June and haunted us until early October when the night air was finally cool again. Despite the miserable temperatures, my sister and I spent much of the day outside.

We had a pool in the second house of my existence. The Evans house. We'd wake up, put our bathing suits on, and impatiently watch our Dad clean the pool from the window. "You have to wait an hour before you can get in," He would warn us. The chemicals too harsh for our tanned skin. We'd have our bowl of cereal at the round glass table in the kitchen. The hour would pass by slowly. We sit on the cool tile floor and watch TV until we were given the go ahead.

We would spend hours in the pool. Sometimes it would be just Joy and I making up games, playing Marco Polo (fish out of water?), or perfecting our dive off the diving board. We had an old radio in the shade that sang us songs like "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House or Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach." I'd swim underwater and hear the muffled music blaring in the space above me.

Lunchtime would come and we'd have sandwiches, chips, and fruit on yellow plastic dishes under the umbrella. I'd never felt so famished. Sometimes Dad would even let us share an ice cold Pepsi. We'd wait the obligatory thirty minutes before getting back in for the rest of the afternoon. Often we'd have friends or neighbors over. The more the merrier. We'd have diving contests, do hand stands, and do cannonballs until the sun set around eight.

I will always remember how it felt to settle down after a day in the pool. I'd step into the cool house, still dripping, and feel how the sun had soaked into my body. My hair would be slightly green and the smell of chlorine would stay with me even after a shower. After getting dressed, I'd lie on the couch and let the water trickle out of my ears. My body would feel tired but in a way that is most satisfying. Another summer day well spent.

These days I hope to spend our summer days much the same. We don't have a pool but we have the Pacific which is almost better. My kids must feel the same way after a day at the beach. We make sand castles, play catch, chase birds, feel the frigid waves crash into our warm bodies, enjoy our favorite snacks, laugh, play, and hopefully make a memory that they will keep with them the way I do.

Potty Talk

2009-06-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

I think two people have told me that potty training was a breeze. I'm pretty sure about 53 people have told me that it's hellish. I prepared for the worst. This is how it went for us:

Day 1 and 2: Ivan wears undies and promptly pees in them within 15 minutes. We bribe, I mean, convince him to pee in the backyard. This was a tip I received from a friend of a friend with twin boys. He gets a kick out of this so we go with it. We alternate between diapers and undies throughout the day. He's still getting used to feeling the urge to go.

Day 3: Peeing in the yard is fun. He's now able to tell me when he has to go. Going #2 on the potty is completely out of the question. Diapers are worn at nap and nighttime. No accidents.

Day 4-14: See day 3

Day 15 to now: Ivan decides that pooping on the potty isn't scary after all. He exclaims to Denny, "Thanks for showing me how Dad. It's not scary." He's wearing undies for naps and pull ups for night time.

Wait, what? That's it? That was what I was dreading? I suppose I prepared myself for the worst and decided to have a relaxed attitude about the whole thing and it totally paid off.

Ivan, thank you for making this so easy for us (and you). You are awesome. I never thought I'd be so happy to see you using the toilet. Way to go my favorite boy. And your little butt never looked cuter than in your little undies.

We are a band

2009-03-16T17:06:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now. What better way to keep family and friends updated on the odds and ends of our family? Pictures you say? I have over three thousand on my hard drive just waiting to be shared. We may not be the most interesting family but things do happen around here. Things we should remember.

I read several blogs everyday if time permits. They inspire me, keep me informed, and entertain me. I've been inspired to start my own. Even if Heather and Denny are my only readers, I'll try to keep up with it and blog regularly.

Ivan is our band leader. He tells us what songs to sing and what instrument to play. It's constant air guitars and drums around here. Ruby is our co-pilot. She's always looking around and observing the world...and her favorite big brother. She can't keep her eyes off of him. He is pure fascination. Den is our hero. We all look up to him. He works hard and then comes home to make us laugh and love on us. He doesn't get enough credit. Ivan says he's the best dad in the whole wide world and Ruby and I agree. I'm the mom. I still can't believe I grew these kids in my body.

So join us on our adventure.